Greetings from Camp Lejeune! Christina here, Publisher Mom for Macaroni Kid Jacksonville-Crystal Coast in North Carolina. I'd like to share with you a wonderfully written piece by one of my favorite writers, former Marine Corps Spouse of the Year Erin Whitehead, regarding a disturbing trend in the military community - Spouse shaming.
This is a hot button issue for me. I've been called this 'D' word before (you know exactly what I'm talking about), by keyboard warriors who knew basically nothing about me, but what they saw fit a 'stereotype'. When the article mentioned in above, hit the Marine Corps Times, I braced for impact. And sure enough, the very behavior the article was calling out started popping up in the comments section, in spades. James, my husband, and I had a lengthy conversation about this. Never before have I been so afraid to go out on base with my children. All it would take is one tiny, fraction-of-a-second instance in the commissary when one of my kids acts out, or I discipline them, or God forbid I bend over to pick up a bag of dog food and my underwear shows. In that tiny moment any of the multitudes of other patrons, Marines, other dependents, it doesn't matter, around me could snap a photo, and I would be torn to shreds on military-wife bashing Facebook groups before I got the groceries unloaded at home.
I know the reaction of many is “I just don't let it get to me." or "I'm not those things, so it's not about me.” That's all well and good for those people's self-confidence, but it's not about being 'overly sensitive'. It's about the stigma and fear that this senseless, hateful trend has caused in our community. Spouses don't want to be involved in unit or base supported groups or classes for fear of labeling, and are missing precious resources, information and support because of it.
How do we fix this? I'm honestly not sure. But the first step needs to be unanimous agreement that this is a problem that needs to be taken seriously - that these keyboard warriors can't be allowed to tear others down for sport. Only then can the real conversation begin.
Enough from me; I'll let Erin do the talking in her article, "Why I Care About MilSpouse Bashing".
