I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and Master Addiction Counselor in the field over 20 years. The information given in this article, however, is intended to provide generalized guidance for common parenting challenges and is not meant to represent any individualized counsel or therapy.
Mistakes - How does a mom frame these?
Our kids will make mistakes - this is a fact of life. We all make them - in my case, often! So, how can we use this for our children's advancement? When your child makes a mistake, don't scold him or her. That will only serve to make them cover it up the next time because they are fearful of your disapproval. Other downfalls of scolding are that your child may start to blame others for his/her mistakes or even become fearful of taking on new risks or challenges for fear of failing.
Here are some suggestions for dealing with mistakes as they happen:
- Help your child understand what they can do next time. Don't dwell on the present, but rather help them plan for how they will handle this when it happens in the future.
- Don't confuse the doer with the deed. Let them know you love them, but not what they did.
- Give them another chance - they can always try the activity or exercise again tomorrow. This helps build confidence.
- Show them what to do, versus telling them. Let's say they spill the milk from the cereal bowl because they poured the milk too quickly. Don't just tell them to be slower next time, show them how to pour slowly. Every child had a different learning style - some visual, some auditory, and some hands-on. Know your child's learning style and adapt your teaching to this style. You will be amazed at the difference that one change makes!
- Ask questions - not, "Why did you do that?", but rather ones like "How could you have done that differently?" or "What would happen if....?" Always do this in a calm. loving voice to help your child think through their actions. These skills can be used in the future!
