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A Short Look into How We Survived a Double Deployment

Keeping the Family Bond When Parents are Far Away

By Jessica Jennings June 3, 2016
My husband did not meet his daughter till she was 5 months old, and then unexpectedly got deployed again.
We had just moved to the great state of Washington from Italy, and I was eight months pregnant. I didn't have any friends, and he just found out he made Chief! Two weeks after arriving, he was then flown out to his ship for their deployment. He was a bit harder to reach because of his new "Chief training" but we got through having the new baby and adjusting to the new area. We also had a seven year old who is an amazing kid, who adapted fast. 

Fast forward 6 months. 
We survived, hooray! We enjoyed the new area because of FRG events and I luckily stumbled across the local Macaroni Kid. It was a newer edition and it was amazing! One event calendar full of fun and I didn't need to ask anyone, anything. Perfect! Before my husband's second leave period came, we got word of an emergency deployment which meant he would be gone for another 6-8 months. Yes, he just met his daughter and we were already back to "leaving again on deployment status". 

It was terrible. The skies were grey every day in Washington State and that day I think they turned black. What was I going to do? My daughter just got over crying whenever he talked, his voice was so deep it would scare her. So I decided at that moment I was getting a Flat Daddy made for her. She needed to keep that bond she had just gotten with her dad. I was unaware of the humor it would bring to us all during the deployment. 

Thanks to a great company, the second deployment was a little different from the first. Flat Daddy was custom made so he could fold and travel with us. The owner even sent two small sized ones for the kids to have at all times. 

Flat Daddy traveled everywhere a memory could be made. 
From meeting new neighbors, attending the Super Bowl party, my sister’s wedding in Florida (yes he was mailed from WA to FL), our daughter's 1st Birthday, our son's 8th birthday he was there! Along with all the holidays between September - May 4th. (240 days later). I ended up meeting a great group of friends who would pose and help with Flat Daddy. 

Best part!
My daughter knew exactly who her daddy was when he came home. Which made all the crazy lady stares worth it. Flat Daddy is now hanging out with grandma in Missouri keeping a smile on her face.

                                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPjLn82axxQ

Getting ready for a deployment? 
Preparing for a deployment stinks - whether it's your first or last. You dread it months before it comes and effects can last long after they are done. Preparing for the deployment is just the start of surviving it. But it does lay a foundation of a better deployment for your family. 

The tips commands give are important, like: 
  • Get a Power of Attorney.
  • Create or update your will.
  • Get your bill payments in order. Set up automatic payments or create a joint account for bills.
  • Know who your local emergency contact is. New to the area? Find that neighbor who knows everything and invite them over. You need someone to call in an emergency. 
  • Get important papers together - taxes, insurance, titles, Social Security cards, etc.
  • Update DEERS, Tricare, insurance policies.
See a complete list at www.military.com

Here are few extra tips that I have added to my checklist. Getting some of these done will help you be prepared so you aren't waiting for a reply that will come days later, or get over stressed to get it all done.  
  • Get the Christmas tree down from the attic and placed somewhere easier.
  • Get the maintenance on the lawn mowers/leaf blower done. 
  • Fill extra gas tanks for the lawnmower. (Gas smell in car with kids is terrible!)
  • Clean the gutters for Fall. (I can't get on my roof easily,)
  • Cell phones can be put on hold, and some contracts can be cancelled without fees. (Save that money!)
  • Check dates on ID cards, car inspections, and car titles. 
  • Know passwords for all accounts. 
  • Do you have pets? Know where the emergency vet is, the best kennel? Most kennels for dogs have a playtime screening to see if they are aggressive toward other dogs. If an emergency comes up you want to be prepared, so get this done ahead. 
  • Cable TV - Do you want to downgrade while during the deployment?
  • Satellite radio-cancel the car that won't be used. 
  • Get your dental/medical appointments done. (Taking kids with you is difficult and finding babysitters may be hard.) 
How to deal with the long weekends:
  • Go on new adventures! I like to find new local spots to see if they are worth bringing my husband to later. Your local Macaroni Kid edition is perfect for this! Go try something new!
  • Start geocaching! It's an app you use with your phone's GPS to find local "treasure"! A great way to explore new areas. Great for all kids and families. A cheap and fun new hobby. You can use old toys, because you leave something when you take something. Did you attend an event that wasn't worth the drive? Look for cache in the area and save the day! 
  • Meet new friends. Get out of your comfort zone. Invite a few ladies over for a movie and pizza night. Or meet at a local restaurant. Don’t be scared. I have friends who are practically family that I met during deployment. Sometimes you have to go out of your way, but it's worth it!
  • Volunteer! Local Humane Societies always needs volunteers. Guess who can volunteer with you? Your kids! Many offer spots for kids over 14. Kids 13 and under can stay with you while helping, too. 
My 2 Cents:
Stay away from "those" Facebook groups. If you are a part of one and it's fun, great! But if you are in one and all they are doing is tearing down other spouses - remove yourself. Being a part of negativity can influence how you feel away from the computer. Stay positive. It'll be over and a memory faster than you know it. Create a happy memory to look back at.