For the first 14 years of my 27 years in the Navy Reserve, thoughts of being recalled to active duty were practically non-existent. September 11, 2001, changed all of that as the reserve components of all services became important, fully integrated support to our active component. For my family and me, it was no different. I don’t want to say that I got used to being on active duty, but it was definitely a reality in our lives, having been recalled in 2004 and then again in 2009. However, I never saw a third recall coming and it took a moment to sink in when I got that “drive-by” warning back in November of 2014.
While walking down the hall on break at a meeting, one of the mobilization coordinators passed by me and said, “Oh, hey, by the way - has Irene told you that you are next to go to relieve Andy?”
Uh, no I was not aware.
I was to be assigned as the Officer in Charge for the Defense Logistics Agency Disposition Services in Afghanistan, from September of 2015 through March of 2016. After allowing the bombshell to sink in for a few hours and then several days, I decided for a couple of reasons to wait until the following February to tell my family. First, and most importantly, any reservist will tell you that you really don’t want to make firm preparations (job, family, finances, etc.) for a mobilization until you have orders in hand. Secondly, knowing that I was scheduled to be gone during the 2015 holiday season, I did not want to ruin the 2014 holiday season as well.
While walking down the hall on break at a meeting, one of the mobilization coordinators passed by me and said, “Oh, hey, by the way - has Irene told you that you are next to go to relieve Andy?”
Uh, no I was not aware.
I was to be assigned as the Officer in Charge for the Defense Logistics Agency Disposition Services in Afghanistan, from September of 2015 through March of 2016. After allowing the bombshell to sink in for a few hours and then several days, I decided for a couple of reasons to wait until the following February to tell my family. First, and most importantly, any reservist will tell you that you really don’t want to make firm preparations (job, family, finances, etc.) for a mobilization until you have orders in hand. Secondly, knowing that I was scheduled to be gone during the 2015 holiday season, I did not want to ruin the 2014 holiday season as well.
So when my orders were firm, I broke the news first to my wife, then my son, who was 22 years old at the time. The next six months were spent preparing mostly on an emotional level. We had plenty of time to plan for handling finances, and the three of us took a couple of well-deserved pre-deployment mini-vacations, as well as our annual trip to the the beach with extended family. But no matter how many times you go, that last day when you get to see each other and the moments before you physically leave the United States are wildly emotional.
The military services do a fantastic job of offering support and preparation for mobilizations. However, as a reservist, living in West Virginia no less, there is no local, base-wide support so my wife and son tend to rely on family and a strong network of friends for social support. They are both employed in rather high-tempo jobs so there is also that distraction to help the time pass. Connectivity during my assignment in Afghanistan was good so I was able to talk to my wife (mostly on wifi type calling) almost daily and see her almost weekly via Skype or FaceTime. Nevertheless, as expected, the separation experienced during the holiday season from Veteran’s Day, Thanksgiving and then Christmas was difficult. During my first 2 mobilizations, I was not gone during that time. I’m thankful that we have a close and supportive family that helped to get them through.
Extended family is also affected. My dad, 91 years old and a WWII veteran, and my sisters probably have the most difficulty understanding the requirements of Reservists on mobilization, and I think they tend to worry a little more than the rest of my family. But again, I made a point to call my dad every week and stay in touch with my sisters regularly. As a service member on deployment, my days are passed by working in a high tempo environment and focusing on one mission. Back home, our families are stepping up to not only keep their lives moving, but also to fill in the gaps that we are unable to take care of while down range. Small matters like minor household maintenance, pet care, and household emergencies take on a completely different perspective when one partner is not available to support.
Reserve Component support of conflicts around the world remain an important part of our overall force. When faced with mobilization, it’s important that families communicate openly, help each other prepare and not overlook services that may be available from your branch of service or your local community (state or local Veteran Affairs departments are great resources) that will help to support you and your family during the separation.
